nightfall

In a different time and place.
Finding solitude among a crowd.
Pegging my emotions onto a roller-coaster ride.
Hearing no voice among laughters.
Trying to hide a sadness behind my gloom.

poppy garden

The sorcerer was fiddling with the mask of grey. In her magical hut which overlooks a poppy garden, the sorcerer can feel her power of renewal draining. She cannot gives glitter dust of cheery for weeks now and she doesn't know why. So she begins to wave her hands to create more tinker fairies and unicorns in her poppy garden instead.

The Dove stopped by the other day to deliver a secret message... Secret is as secret as secret gets. A portion of the message is to look for a key hidden in the beautifully grown poppy garden, without using her magical powers. A key, which she was unsure if it was there at all in the first place.

The sorcerer bids farewell to the Dove and looks at her flying broom hanging by the wall. She never liked the lesson on re-awkening your mortal self while in magic school. But she wants her power of renewal back.

She knows that the key is there now. When she is bored with her tinker fairies and unicorns, she will find the key.

of thorns and pricks

i am very upset because somehow i feel that i cannot be me anymore and i really really have to start the process of cocooning soon. what i foresee is a lost self. sometimes i feel like an immortal trapped in a mortal shell, a bird with all the world's freedom of flight yet with a leg tied to a huge stone. in career, i really don't know what i am making but i know i want to progess.
in love, what is love again? a hopefully effective pain killer and distraction to my cocooning process or a collector's item which is still missing from my collection of earthly feels.

why have i suddenly lost my footing and who has tipped my scale? darkness is peeping into the backyard of my la-la wonderland kingdom once more and where are my guardians of trinity peace? like the cold waves of fiction crossing path with the hot current of reality. my aging future both worries and frightens me. my squeaking inner voice of live and let life troubles me. where is my happiness? i want to force myself to cry and do many crazy things but i cannot. what is it that i am holding on to? castles in the air and illusions which i have coaxed myself into adopting.

i am doing things and yet not doing things at the same time. my fears is the best frontline of intrusion to my own freedom. no saviour is coming because it is a private battle.

maybe i have really gotten the bug of darkness ... i want to recover ...

burying a withered rose ...

i have decided to bury a withered rose today.
Hanging a dried rose by my window will not revive it.
It is a stalk out of somebody's bouquet. An empty hope.
I may never like rose again but i should have a better look at the clear blue sky.
Bye my withered rose .. wishing me my own garden of adam and eve.

I have heard something, a statement most uncannly but yet most effective. Suddenly, I feel that the distinction between what is real and unreal has always been there but it was just, reality was never that prominent.

vacuuming dirt under the carpet

While trying to resurrect an old legend. I feel that I am beginning to lose bits and pieces of my obstinationand feel of a love story in me. Then i started to believe that the dirt which i have swept under the carpet have to be vacuumed and the carpet removed.

I have to do some re-decoration starting now :)

my anti-virus software

as i watched the anti-virus software expiriy warning pops up whenever i switched on my PC these days. I am thinking, perhaps this is the most realistic fact of life in the world - everything comes with an expiry date. Though, I have managed to stretch the lifespan of my software for one more year but what will be will still be ultimately. It is now the end of the end. Though my PC can defintely still function prefectly regardless after, fear develops as uncertainity sets in. Can my beloved PC survive the anti-virus days while i unwillingly forsake this old favourite to search for a new software? My favourite IT encyclopedia - my brother has reccomended me a free-ware but I have been putting off downloading it while i count down to the ending Norton dynasty. Sometimes, i wonder why am i being such a bull. Perhaps, its the thought of getting used to unfamilar new things and doubts of its effectiveness for being a free-ware that I have been dragging my feet. While I remind myself to get the download site from him again tomorrow, i think i am prepared to move ahead. It is just a matter of getting used to and how tough can a consumer IT product be? The only stupid person these days is one who have the power of the Norton dynasty but don't know how to use LIVE updates for the software.

Quitting him

the crown princess really wants to quit the renegade knight called Wind. She didn't think much of him when he rode into town one day to join the round table. But over the days, somehow her interest in him grew. Now she is suffering from the effect of falling for the knight called Wind who already has a queen in him. But she also love knighthood and after mastering the skill, she decides to have a duel with him. So that she can win him and help herself get over him. But she can never bear to win him so she only gets more locked in her own cowardly shelf. She does not even knows if she has a chance and even more not prepared to pitch herself with the queen should she comes back for him one day.

Wind ...